uncomfortable giving

November 28, 2008


gwuh.  Don’t even get me started man.  TOO LATE!  YOU ALREADY HAVE!  PREPARE FOR THE ANGST PUMMELING!

So, my dad’s had this fucking headache for the past two months, which isn’t seriously big news, since he’s a chronic migrane sufferer.  It’s bad man.  Imagine the pain of third degree burns, then imagine it’s still going as if you’ve done nothing about it even after you’ve emptied the entire painkiller section of the medicine cabinet in to your mouth.  And he takes some strong narcs for these things, so let me tell you: today, STONED OUT OF HIS FUCKING MIND.  And we actually took him along to some friends’ house to turkey day.  T_T *sob*

Fortunately he didn’t say anything throughout dinner, mainly because he realized with his last scrap of coherence that it would be a bad idea.  But I was like so sick from sitting through this I had to go to the bathroom and have a nervous breakdown like three times.  And there was also a one year old there.

Now, normally, we really like babies, we just do.  But she was tired.  And crying.  Forever.  Is it unhealthy to eventually want to throw said baby through a window?  YES!  BUT IT’S WHAT I FUCKING WANTED TO DO!  😡  Not to mention it was aggrivating dad’s headache making him more deranged, and mom was totally unsympathetic or oblivious to my uncomfortable situation.  YES, I know this is self centered, but I really don’t care.  It was making me sick.  Dad was so pale he had to eat early too.  It was a mish mash of feeling sorry for him, angry at mom and that baby, and also sorry for mom and the baby simultaniously.  And I just got done angsting about getting put down by a bunch of middleschool brats who I didn’t pummel out of decency, humiliating me in the eyes of others.


Seriously man, what did I do to my fucking karma?  WHAT IS IT MAN?  Did I rape someone in my last life, is that it?


Now I will sleep.  But be warned.  Do NOT meet my family in person.  Seriously.



  1. OUCH! That sounds like one bad T day. Makes me thankful it is celebrated in the UK 🙂

    Oh and I’ve been to Christmas dinners worse than that, I think karma let you off easy(considering what a bitch it can be)

  2. oops not celebrated! I’m drinking right now(don’t judge me 🙂 )

  3. Add the normal disgust/rage/embarrassment and general confusion of teen years when confronted with thier family of origin to your dad’s health issues, and the fact that all you guys (and me too) are terminal nerds, and I can like FEEL YOUR PAIN man. But from outside, let me tell you, I have met your family as you well know, and you have one of the closest, most caring families of any I know. Most American families would have been TORN ASUNDER by the stresses your family has endured. I’ve known families torn apart by a little dalliance, or because one of the partners got bored. Ho hum,[yawns] what arduous strife [/sarcasm]. Your parents have stayed together through the most trying series of health challenges of anyone I know – BOTH of them, plus money issues that would have broken anyone else. That they can afford to buy a laptop through all of this just blows my mind, these guys are geniuses at managing scarce resources. That neither one has jumped off a bridge or gone into a clock tower with a high powered scope is a testament to intestinal fortitude.

    It’s OK to be angry and frustrated about it. I completely understand.

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