Posts Tagged ‘contentment’

h1

plod along and learn things along the way

February 5, 2009

Well, I’m beginning to be a college insider, which is cool and all. I’m settling in to the routine. I have started making friends at an alarming rate. The person I thought died in me when I was maybe ten is coming back to life. Not really the same, maybe more mature, but definitely that person.

I was extremely sociable and kind to others as a small child, but at some point got beaten inward in to a pathetic recluse. Maybe the reversion is simply due to the fact that I no longer exist in what I perceive to be a hostile environment?

Regardless, it feels good, like the introverted dark reclusive Zen guy is integrating with my old personality, the happy nihilistic curious scientist. Put together I feel more complete than I have ever felt in my life. I think it is a good thing I have suffered so much, I would not have the perspective and scope that I do now otherwise.

What is happiness? Nothing special. I’m still not happy, and at this point I feel no inclination towards pursuing it. What I HAVE is contentment, something most people who think they are happy don’t really have. So I am grateful for that.

Now that I’m done being mister-life-story-bore-to-death-zomg-man here’s what I’m working on:

  • A clone of the Qix game. (assigned by Dr. Liow)
  • My book.
  • Concept drawings.
  • A general purpose topological graph program. (also assigned by Dr. Liow)
  • A sketchbook. (assigned by art appreciation)
  • An analytical history paper. (assigned by Dr. Karr)
  • A literature analysis paper. (assigned by Dr. Campbell)

Here’s something that’s freaking me out a bit… an art appreciation multi-choice test. I’m gonna have to CRAM that bitch. It’s just soooooo many stupid ass factoids with NO value! I already appreciate motherfucking art, I don’t need a million worthless discrete examples to confuse the matter. Whatever happened to pure enjoyment? Regardless, I feel like I’m somehow boned by this class. At least I still have a buffer, and I’m doing excellently in my other classes. *chkkkkt* over and out *chkkkkt*

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